Here’s why you feel weird about selling (and how to fix it)
The most common thing I hear in my conversations with business owners on Instagram, is that sales feel weird, icky, uncomfortable and down right slimy. So if that’s how you’re feeling right now you’re certainly not alone.
But the saddest thing about this is ; as a result of this discomfort around selling, so many brilliant business owners are hiding their incredible products and services away from their dream clients - because they want to avoid the selling bit.
Here’s the tough love bit - sales and selling are a necessary part of being a business owner (as much as we might want to not admit it).
Sales don’t happen automatically or just because you thought about promoting your business or did it once or twice then gave up - they happen when your clients can see you, can see your love for what you do and can see you are the right fit for their needs!
As business owners we are all salespeople - our products can’t sell themselves, they need US to sell them. But selling doesn’t have to be icky, complicated or hard. You can, and must find your own fun, feel-good way of bringing people into your business.
So how can you do this when selling feels like something you want to avoid at all costs? Well, I’ll tell you! But first, let’s figure out WHY selling can feel so icky - because once you’ve got your head around that, you’re already a giant leap closer to feel-good selling.
Why selling can feel squirmy, and why we associate selling with being sleazy
So many of the examples we see of how sales are done feels… well, gross! The dodgy adverts on TV, the time you were pressured into buying something you didn’t really want, the classic trope of the second hand car salesman.
And because we are genetically programmed to take note of the negative stuff over the positive experiences we have, it’s the sleazy sales people and tactics that tend to stick in our minds.
And often, when we’ve been sold to in a positive way we don’t even notice we’re being sold to!
We see that we need and want the product or service we’re being offered, we clearly understand how it works, what we get and vitally - what the result of buying that thing will be. We love and trust the brand or the person that’s offering the product or service, and we confidently know it’s the right fit for us. So, we buy it and we even feel ecstatic about it.
That’s how you want your audience to feel when you’re selling, right?
7 reasons why selling feels uncomfortable or difficult (and how to fix it)
1. Not wanting to look like a show off or like you’re saying “look at me”
You don’t want to come across like you’re saying you’re better than everyone else, or overpromising on what your service delivers, so instead you stay quiet - other than the occasional, apologetic mention that the link is in your bio.
Cure: Find a comfy range that enables you to say what you do in a way that feels natural. Write down some key phrases, write a summary of what you do and who you do it for and practice using these in your marketing and sales.
2. Thinking you have to sell in a certain way to be successful
You can’t relate to the sleazy sales methods you’ve seen - and so you conclude that you’re ‘just not a salesperson’. What if I said you CAN sell in a way that actually feels good - by being yourself!
Cure: When it comes to promoting what you do you can make it feel like a chore or you can make it fun: don’t forget - you get to choose! My challenge to you is to create your own authentic way of selling that works for you and feels good. Don’t want to do a reel? Don’t want to do a webinar? No problem. There are SO many ways to do marketing and sell in your business. Find the tools that feel good to you and keep using them!
3. Fear of judgement. An oldie but a goodie!
In the online space we can’t help but compare ourselves to others from time to time. When it comes to sales it’s easy to make those comparisons and start worrying about what other people think of YOU. The problem is, this is making you freeze! Worrying about what someone might think or say about you is stopping you from taking action.
Cure: If this is what’s going on for you, put your blinkers on and try to focus on you for a bit by scaling back your Instagram scrolling or reducing the amount of podcasts you’re listening to. Keep tabs on what feels comfortable when it comes to selling and lean into the stuff that feels good.
4. Conditioning
I could go on about the effect of our conditioning on how we feel about selling all day but basically, we have some work to do! Women don’t get to see enough examples of other women selling in a way that looks and feels good to them. And often as women we’re not encouraged to learn sales skills, instead we’re told not to get too big for our boots and not to ‘show off’.
Cure: Let’s create a better standard of selling as a collective. I’m on a mission to empower you to feel GOOD about the way you sell and to do it in a way that’s really natural, effortless and to everyone’s benefit. To get your hands on some more of my strategies and to unlock more sales on social media, take my quiz by clicking the banner below.
5. Imposter syndrome
Those familiar feelings of not feeling good enough, not ready yet, not qualified enough, not… enough! And when imposter syndrome is rife, and your inner critic is going off on one - why would you want to put yourself out there and risk rejection only to confirm what your inner critic is saying!? What makes it worse is everyone online telling you how “easy” it all is.
Cure: Remember that selling doesn't have to look a certain way. Start small and flex the muscle - this is how you’re going to build confidence with selling. So, pick something small - perhaps it’s sharing instagram stories daily or writing a weekly email to your mailing list, and keep flexing that muscle! Over time it will start to feel more comfortable and joyful.
6. Snake oil vibes
When selling is role modelled to be a slippery tactic rather than an everyday part of promoting your business, selling feels… yuck. Everywhere we turn there are examples of selling done badly. One of the biggest worries about selling that I hear from clients is the fear of looking pushy, sleazy and too sales-y. No one wants to be that sleazy salesperson who manipulates people into buying.
Cure: Create your own gold standard of selling and say no to anything that feels sleazy. Keep integrity at the front and centre of your sales process, always. An easy way to do this is to keep the needs of your clients front of mind and focus on finding clients who are the right fit for your products and services - this will help you steer clear of getting ‘pushy’ with your selling as you will always be focussing on finding the right solution for them.
7. Not having a plan
Not having a plan for your sales leaves you winging it, comparing ourselves to others and doing things on the fly that don’t always land well with your audience. Absence of a plan oven comes from the notion that if your product is good enough it will sell - I hate to break it to you but it doesn’t work like that! As I said at the top; as business owners we are all salespeople - our products can’t sell themselves, they need US to sell them - but there is a way to do it that feels great!
Cure: If you take one thing away from this post let it be this; You need a sales plan with the steps mapped out to help you deliver consistent, feel good sales. This doesn’t need to be as complicated as you think it does, it just needs to be a process you follow that allows you to stay consistent with your sales. If you need a helping hand with creating your sales plan you might want to take a peek at my masterclass on Increasing Your Sales on Social Media.
Selling might still feel a little uncomfortable for a while, but keep flexing the muscle and it will start to feel easier and even joyful - imagine that!
As you become more comfortable with selling, you’ll be able to make that leap from feeling weird about it to actually enjoying it.
The key is practice - which is why I recommend starting small and easy. If you wanted to get better at playing guitar, would you try out for a rock band right away? Of course not! You'd start by learning how to play “Smoke on the Water” and then progress from there. The same concept applies here: start with small, daily actions and build your confidence, and sales from there.
